Instagram life.

What was there before Instagram? I seriously love this app, along with the other 9 million people. I don't really get too caught up in who is following ( is it following?) me or who I am following...I honestly just like the fact that it pinpoints certain things throughout my life. I promise to have the awesome bathroom reveal soon along with some holiday & other DIY projects and a trip to NYC soon. But for now- I shall share some of my 'grams.

Sweet girl

Sweet girl

Knox & daddy.

Christmas cups

Wedding hair for a bride

Wonder Woman!

That's all for now my sweets!

 

Symptoms.

What do you do, when no one knows what's wrong? When you try to explain, but no one gets it. When they think... "Maybe its in your head."

 

For the past year, my husband hasn't felt well. It started with dizziness, feeling nauseous, anxious, tired and many other symptoms. Since I have known my husband for the past 12 years, I know what he has felt like before. What he feels like when he feels good...when he has energy, when he looks rested. We have been to the ER, Urgent Care, to his primary physician, neurologists, GI's and even a holistic doctor- who talks to your muscles and asks the patients body what is wrong {that was VERY hard one for me}..you name it, we've been there. And all we have heard is... "We can't find anything that would cause all of this. We will just have to treat the symptoms." In case you didn't know, "treating the symptoms" means we'll give you several different medications and see if it works, even though we have no idea what is wrong with you.

 

To say we are frustrated is an understatement. It is amazing to me that doctors today dance around the fact that they might have no idea what is wrong with their patient. But I believe that if you are a doctor, it is your duty to refer your patient to someone who might know. Someone who might think differently. Someone who just might listen to the one symptom {that we have been saying for the past year} and run with it.

 

We chose to go to Mayo. If you know anything about the medical world- you know that Mayo is where you go if you are looking for answers. It is marketed as "the place" to go, when you have something serious going on. If no one else can tell you anything. You are told to plan for a week so that you can see specialist after specialist. Yes, those who have cancer go to Mayo. And I was so surprised when I told people what we were doing. The looks on their faces said it all..."You are what? Why would you do that?" It's funny how judgy people can be, when its something as serious as your health. Just because you don't "get it" doesn't mean you should cast your judgy eyes my way. Besides the fact that it makes me want to poke one of your judgy eyes out- its just not a nice thing to do.

 

We waited 3 months for this appointment and both took a week off of work and headed to Mayo in Jacksonville, Florida. I am a Type-A, organization is my game, kind of person. So we showed up that Monday morning prepared with all of our documents. 100+ pages of medical history, a medical timeline I made, MRI & CT results. You name it- I had it, or knew about it.

 

Fast forward to that Wednesday. I cried all 3 days at one time or another. Out of pure "I can't believe this is happening" frustration. Our first day at Mayo we saw only our Internal Medicine doctor. Why? Because they told us the specialists she was referring us to weren't available until Mid- October. OCTOBER. {this was mid-September}. We do not live in Florida. The blood work she requested was lost in the system. It was only because I marched my sobbing- IknowIlooklikemydogjustdied tail back to the registration desk and asked to speak with the Doctor again, that anything happened. That, and the grace of 2 receptionists that sat behind the desk that Monday. Word to the wise- if you ever, ever need anything- it is best to not be rude to the two who blink back at you with the computer mouse in their hands. These two became our advocates during this week. Because of them, we were worked into the schedule because they happened to know the floor supervisors. At one point we waited a total of 7 hours in a waiting room to see one of the specialists. SEVEN. Only to be told "you can go ahead and leave, they are done for the day."

 

Needless to say- we left Mayo 4 days later with no more answers then we had going in. We did finally see all of the specialists she recommended- but only because I pushed and asked. And pushed and asked. I undoubtedly know that most of the people {many of the older generation} show up there with many of the same unanswered questions only to hear "They can't see you until mid-whenever." And with that, they turn around and go home. At some point in my life- I will become an advocate for these couples that I see. Because no one should ever have to wait in a waiting room on stand-by for 7 hours only to rudely be told to go home. I am writing this mainly for others who are trying to decide if they should make the decision to go to Mayo. It was nothing like I thought it would be. I thought it was going to be fast-paced efficiency. Where the doctor had reviewed his medical history- where a timeline would be laid out for us. Where specialists were waiting for us. When instead it was like starting over at a new doctor's office. Where we had to fight to get appointments to see them. Where if we hadn't befriended the two receptionists, we would have gone home without ever seeing another specialist. {We delivered cupcakes to them the morning we left.}

 

We are still in limbo- waiting for more results and more findings. Which we have accepted will most likely tell us nothing. We are so tired and exhausted mentally and emotionally. My husband works through everything- the Flu, strep...so its hard to know he doesn't feel good everyday. As time goes on we pray to find answers to the questions we have.

 

Moral of the story? Be your own advocate. Fight for the answers. Don't give up. Repeat.

 

 

Blogsy.

Remember when I gushed about Blogsy? It was a lie. I just lost a 6 paragraph post.

 

That's all.

Life Lately

I know its been awhile- please accept my apologies. I don't often write about exactly what is going on and sometimes I just kinda "scoot" over the things that are going on. Don't all bloggers? You want to put yourself out there, but most of the time you can't really put yourself out there because sometimes the things you want to say are about people who might happen upon your blog- and then where will you be? Maybe 1 friend down I suppose.

First things first- I am so in love with Blogsy. I was struggling with posting because I fight with my laptop frequently and therefore I am constantly on my iPad. And iPad + blogger = headache. Until I found Blogsy. There are a few other blog apps out there for iPad, but this one got the best reviews.

Where would we be without google? Seriously.

I have to admit I am completely thankful that September is coming to a close. It was a month that had so much going on and created so much stress, that I am just happy to put it all behind us.

A week ago, I left for San Diego for a work function. Every year, we fly out to meet with consultants who work with my office and are in meetings for a few days and they always have such amazing things for us to do planned. Example:

Who doesn't love a cute elephant butt?

We had dinner at the San Diego Zoo- that was closed down, just for our group. If you don't know anything else about me- just know that I LIVE for animals. I would seriously be Dr. Doolittle if I could. Remember when I said I was campaigning for goats? Ya, that is still happening. The next day we had an obstacle course, full of running through a bounce house {have you seriously tried that now that you are a grown up? Its no joke when you get stuck in a crack and you literally cannot.get.out} rowing outrigger, playing dodgeball {I really, really hate games with flying balls. I know, I know...that could go so many ways} amongst other things. It was a good time. Flew home on the red-eye Saturday night and arrived home only to repack my suitcase and head to Florida. And no, it wasn't for an amazing vacation. Stay with me and I will tell you exactly why.

Until next time- I leave you with this.

Fall makes me horribly happy. And who can resist a tiny hedgehog?

I just know Fall is on the way...

Hello cupcakes! Today I am linking up with Becky from MrstoMama about the wonderful thing that is Fall!

If you are new to my piece of the internet- Hi! Pardon my look- it soon will be changing. Kick up your feet and stay awhile!

1. Tell us what you are looking forward to this fall?
     There is something I must confess. Fall, Autumn, the season after Summer is one of my 2 favorite times every year. Okay that is a lie. Its one of three. {The other 2 are Spring and Christmas. Yes, Christmas IS in its own category.} In fact, I have been burning my Macintosh Yankee Candle for a few weeks now...yep, you caught me. I walked into Yankee a month ago (sign up for their coupons- they are so worth it!) and beelined straight for the Fall Section. Some of my fav's?

Summer in the Carolinas has been extremely humid and hot- more than normal. Add in the fact that we didn't have much of a winter last year- which I truly believe did not kill the mosquitoes. So, they quadrupled in qauntity and came back with a vengeance this year. I am ready to bid adieu to the entirety of summer. Put the cover on the grill and winterize our house.

2. Show us your fall style.
Insert scarves, leggings, tights, jeans, boots, sweaters and anything that screams cozy.

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And something I am looking to add to my brood? The grayish beauties in the right hand bottom corner from MrstoMama's style... Someone please help me find them.  I need them.

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3. Tell us your favorite things to do in the fall. If you have children, activities to do with the kids?
No kids for this lady right now, but I love fall activities just the same. Pumpkin patch, decorating for fall, hay rides....you name it- I'm game. 

4. Show us your favorite fall beverage.

Apple Cider

I seriously am in love with Apple Cider. We went to Vermont this past February for the first time and let me just say- Cider Mills have a special place in my heart.

5. Tell us, how you will be participating in halloween this year. Plans? Costume ideas?  

Hmmm...Halloween is fairly boring for me every year. Again- no kids so maybe the poor puppies will get dressed up. Or maybe not. Since I'm an 8-5er Hallow's Eve fell on a weekday so we dressed up..I, was the tooth fairy. I work in the tooth industry so naturally this made sense. Although when I asked my boss what I was ... "Uh- some kind of fairy?" Umm- okay. I just happen to have 23 tiny teeth printouts all over me. But yes, some kind of fairy. 

Thats it for now my sweets! I look forward to hopping around and adding to my list of blog fav's!

3 months.

Apparently I have been on a bit of a hiatus, no? I'll admit it- I have thought about logging on here A LOT over those 3 months. But that thing called life showed up and there were things I had to deal with that I just couldn't sit here and focus on saying anything earth shattering. I even took quite a long break from reading my Top 20 (my fav's that I have bookmarked and follow) and just lived life.

Tonight I was catching up on my favorites and was reading this one. I love her posts and her heartfelt words she always writes about her daughter. It doesn't hurt either that she is literally one of the cutest pregnant girls I have ever dealt with. As I was catching up on her latest vacation- she mentioned something I had forgotten about. A blog book. She had posted about this awhile back- but I think I was in one of my many ruts that I have fallen into this year. But as I was reading it- I thought...This is why I need to blog again. This is why I need to write down exactly what I am thinking and what is happening. Because if I don't...I am going to forget. I am going to forget how I felt, about the experience, about that moment in time that needs to be remembered. That I need to remember.

So I got myself out of my warm nook in the corner of the sectional and got my laptop out of hiding. She has really been in hiding since last December when iPad came to town- and she also put herself there because she is missing a key and her cursor likes to jump around randomly which makes me irate. BUT, its the only one I can successfully log into this blog of mine on. So, here I am.

At this point, my blog book would be a sorry, pitiful book. So, I am going to fill it. Its going to be an amazing look back on what was happening in this life of mine. So that maybe someday I can sit down and really relive the things I want to remember.

So- my 34 followers- thank you for not losing hope and for hanging on. I'm back- and I hope you are happy!

Many posts to come!

And- in case you wondered about the blog book- this is where you can find them!

Oh! Side note- if you know of anyone who is a genius at blog design- this chicken needs some help- so send them my way! XO

Ch-ch-ch-chaaannnges...

As many of you know, we do not have children. We've been together for 12 years, married for 8 and still no kids. If you are one of those that is just baffled by this- go ahead and take a deep breath, maybe do a downward dog and I'll be here when you are done.

For now, we travel, do what we want at the drop of a hat and love on our furry babies. We currently have a dog and a cat and I love them like they are my children. Yep, I'm one of those.

Bella is a Yorkie-Pomeranian aka Porkie and Caris (Care-iss) is my rescue calico sweetbabylovechild. I have had both since they were babes...Bella for 7 years and Caris for a little over a year. They are BFF's...which is a stark difference from when I first brought Caris home. Bella is EXTREMELY jealous...I mean seriously- jelly bean is her middle name.

But we got through it- and now they love each other.

The husband is NOT an Iloveanimalsmorethanpeople person like I am. If I had my way- I would have my own version of a Dr. Doolittle farm- saving animals from the hands of the horrible  people of the world. (And I must admit I am a bit disappointed I did not get a pair of goats for my birthday. But that's a post for a different day.) However, he has been wanting a "big" dog for years. Yes, years. As in, at least 3. I usually ignored that comment...saying " We don't have the money for that" or " we would need a huge fence" or " I can't deal with a puppy right now"...

Somewhere along the way- I agreed to make the leap. Jump into getting this "big" dog.

One of the reasons I climbed on board, was for protection. Aside from owning a gun (yep- we're those kinda people too) I wanted another deterrent in my life. Bella is convinced she is part Mastiff mixed with Great Dane and her heart would protect me from anything. But lets face it- 10lbs is not alarming or deterring. And if you happen to have a tennis ball in your pocket? Well, she'll pretty much pack her bags and move in with you. A big 100 pound pile of Iwilleatyourfaceifyouevenblinkatmymomma is what I wanted.

So we decided to start looking for what we wanted. And we found him.

Meet our sweet, baby boy...

We decided on a German Shepherd for many reasons...they are horribly smart, they love their families something fierce, are great around children and other pets (when socialized properly) and are amazing protectors- especially when trained. No, we did not rescue him. I wholeheartedly believe in rescuing - we just chose not to for him. So in the event you're feeling overly opinionated, just go ahead and put your judgy pants away. MmmmK?

We have been preparing for him to come home for a little over a month and he comes home this Wednesday. To say I am apprehensive and nervous is an understatement. We are going to be introducing him and Bella in park on neutral territory and kind of make it a very long play date..except he just won't ever leave.

Fingers crossed he is happy and the other children don't try to run away.
Until next time...

Another Month...

Flew by, without a post. The most annoying thing is I have much to write about. Which in hindsight is nice, because it will take me awhile to catch up.

My friend whom I introduced you to in my last post, lost her mom  to cancer on May 2nd. Its somewhat annoying to say "lost" as if she has gone missing or no one can find her...when in reality, when something like this happens you know exactly where they are. And you would give anything for them not to be there. I often feel like I am saying the wrong thing, not doing enough, pushing too hard to try and help...but in the end, I just wish to be the best friend I can- when the rest of the world expects her to be "over" her grief. 3 months, 8 months, 2 years from now. So many people who haven't been through something like this, put a timeline on grief. Where 6 months goes by and its "Oh, you're still having a hard time?"

 I won't ever forget that day- as it was my 8 year wedding anniversary. And a day when I found a loved one was informed of a new health issue. Needless to say, it was an emotional day.

Our anniversary fell on a Wednesday...and it was so nice to receive flowers from the one who remembers this day like I do.

We kept it fairly low key and took a trip to a delish restaurant- Villa Antonio and called it a night as in the next few weeks we had a trip to the beach planned...and really, how crazy can you get on Wednesday night? I am certainly no spring chicken anymore. Le sigh.

That's it for now my sweets- stay tuned as I have been an instagramming fool lately- which tells a pretty good story of where I have been and where I am headed.

Hugs!

Heavy.

Its been almost 2.5 months since my last post. I honestly didn't know it had been that long and I kind of forgot what my blog looked like. But I am back at it. Over the rare occurrence of me cooking dinner for my other half tonight- I thought about my blog and what I wanted to write about. Yes, I want to (and plan to) tell you about the products I use on my hair, my current nail polish or my recent weekend. But as I was thinking about it, I feel like I have so much to say. More....heavy topics if you will. I truly love to write and think of writing a novel often. My fingers are thankful to be busy right now...the fast-tapping of the keys calms me.

Tonight my heart is feeling heavy. Heavy with sadness for a friend who is going through something horrible. We met the end of 2008 through a Bootcamp class...she was the strong runner- and I always remember thinking "How in the hell does she not sweat?" While I was gasping for air. Fast forward to March 2012. We have been on too many runs to count...with the memories and baggage to prove it. She hates dogs that are loose- I turn into a bootcamp instructor yelling "GO HOME!". We get lost together, dodge bats together and curse at eachother in our heads while running straight up the most serious hill in this state. Or wait- is that just me? We have ran hundreds of miles together, several half marathons and our very first marathon- together. You learn a lot about a person when you are running for hours together. No where to go but forward, no one to talk to but eachother. We've had sweat in our eyes, cried about life while running, and solved the world's problems during these runs. She is a much better runner than I, always faster, always stronger. But doesn't mind running twice in one day (and slowing down for you) if you ask her too- because she knows how much the company is sometimes needed. She is the wittiest person I know and the reason I started tweeting. I have no clue where she comes up with the randomness that are her tweets- but they are usually nothing short of epic.

I am no stranger to Cancer. Its a sonofabitch that affects so many people every day. And I hate it. And I mean hate, with every fiber in my body. I don't feel the need to delve into my own personal story (quite yet)...I just wanted to empty my heart, for the ache it feels for her. There is nothing fair about watching someone you love go through something as painful and mean as cancer. It shows no mercy- and causes nothing but pain. It leaves me speechless as there is nothing you can say to someone going through something like this. The "it will be okays", the "keep your head ups", the "time will heal all wounds" is nothing someone who is going through this wants to hear. Because its not okay, no one wants to hold their head up and time sucks. Its just how it is.

Maghan, in case you haven't figured it out {I mean, who else grabs tiny twigs to ward away loose dogs}...this post is for you. I am thinking and praying for you and your family. I am here for you, if for nothing else than to cry with. I know I have told you before- but if there is anything you need- I'm only a text, tweet, FB msg, call or lifeline away. Much love.

The sounds of DIY

I hear the sound of the grinder in the garage. Cutting through some sort of tile by very capable hands and a tile saw that is amazing. Though I am not in the garage, I know it's the grinder and I know it's tile. I know this because we are elbow-deep in our master bathroom renovation. A renovation started 2 weeks ago,spurred on by a jetted bath tub that was ridiculously on sale. So here we are, steering clear of water leaks and cut waterlines, covered in sawdust and grout. This is what true DIY is all about. It's nothing like a series on TLC or HGTV. It's messy, irritating and sometimes costly due to mistakes of others...but damnit- it is gratifying knowing that we did that. It was a horribledirtyannoying project, but we did that. Such a random post, but I had to write. I would add photos but apparently IPad is not interested in helping a girl out. Hugs on this random Thursday.

Behind..

I feel so behind in the blog world. I am behind on my reading and searching of new and insightful blogs. I can't really explain my slump...or how I feel. I can tell you that I am not really sure where my blogging is going from here. So many blogs have been talking about getting "caught up" in blogging, trying to respond to all of the comments and form connections with new, amazing people. I try my best to reply to my followers {by going to their blog and commenting, but many times my browser doesn't like your comment feed or vice versa, and then I can't leave comments- which makes me frustrated and I give up}. But, one thing I am sure of, is that blogging can't/won't take away from the things I need in my life. Like a clean house, a happy husband, a phone call from someone important, and happy fur children. Lets also not forget my job (a girls gotta eat) and my gym time. I am exhausted and haven't found the time or energy to think of amazing and thoughtful things to blog about. Trust me, I have things to say- but let's be honest. The internet is a HUGE place..full of billions of people. Those that know you, those who don't, those that judge you, those that love you. Can you really and truly put yourself out there? Probably not without hurting some people in the process or it coming back to bite you in the proverbial ass. We all deal with mean people, trying circumstances and have really bad days...so I think that is what I am trying to figure out. What I want to say and how I want to say it. I am a very honest person- sometimes to a fault so rest assured I will try my best to always have an honest place to write my words. Hang in there with me. I think we are on the road to figuring it out.

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2011- A year in review.

Such a popular post this one- but what can I say, I feel like I have to say a proper goodbye to this year. I don't address some months, because they were those months that kinda shot on by. Here is a snippet of what our year looked like...

In short, I am so happy to say goodbye to 2011. I am so thankful for our health, our families and our friends.

Cheers to 2012!

Oh Christmas...

Where did you go?

Seriously- I had been counting down to Christmas for MONTHS. MONTHS, I tell you. This is what happens everytime there is a set date for me to reunite with my family and my beauts (le momma & le sister).

Last Tuesday night we headed out in the dark to the Bluegrass state...oh Kentucky how I love thee. Well- except for the fact you are a mere 6 hours away. But that's okay- they make cars and husbands who drive them for a reason. Because I simply cannot just pick one photo that represents this wonderful time of the year- here is an assortment...

Annual cookie decorating competition- its usually not g-rated between these two.

Naked cookies

I wish I could tell you that it was awful. But it wasn't. Thanks PLL for this bakery recommendation!

Late night poker time.

My Alaskan bebe sis

My beauts, circa 2011.

Annual Gingerbread house- love our own traditions.

Yes- the cookie to the right has on chaps- with his ass hanging out. Told you.

And lets not forget about a few of my new, favorite things!

Such great family ( &hub) who got me so many things I was coveting on my list! They are truly my  heart- and not just because they buy me things. :)

And, no holiday season would be complete without a few things I may, or may not have purchased accidentally for myself.

I never thought I could cheat on MAC, but we are having a full-blown love affair.

So in love with my new Sigmas...

So, there you have it- my Christmas in a nutshell. I know its a week late- but I needed to unplug for a bit {more on that in my New Years post}.

In the meantime- I wonder if you think I am a serious person. I can assure you, that 92% of the time- I am not.
   Your proof.

I am pretty sure Photobooth on Ipad is the best thing invented. Ever.  So many other great pics- but they happen to be of others- and I wish to preserve my relationship with them. You're welcome mom.
Many hugs my pupcakes!